This is only a test.
For the next sixty seconds,
No, for the next sixty years,
if you’re lucky, maybe more-
life will be a test. Created by you,
altered by the ones around you,
not by the Emergency Broadcast System.
This is a test.
Your father will visit on Saturdays with his lawyer.
Your mother will scare you and coach you to scream.
He will move away. You won’t see him for eighteen years.
This is a test,
Your mother remarries, changes your name, sells you out.
Your new father will call you worthless, always insisting
that you wipe that look off your face, shape up or ship out,
and “If you’re not doing nothing, don’t do it here”.
This is a test,
Your grandfather looks after you, guiding you with
the message of how important it is to get an education.
He passes away before the acceptance letter comes in the mail.
This is a test,
Debts start piling up and tuition can’t be met.
Campbell’s tomato soup, potato chip sandwiches,
dead end jobs, sell your gold to pay July’s electric bill.
This is only a test-
This system has been developed in order to keep you informed…
to prepare you, to make you strong, wise, driven to succeed,
to prove yourself.
This has been a test.
In the event of an actual emergency like-
failing a course needed for graduation,
your wife getting tired of waiting for “someday”,
your two month old son contracting meningitis,
the phone ringing as the old ones begin to pass away,
your wife stricken with breast cancer at 33,
carrying your 60 year old father’s coffin.
To return to our regularly
scheduled programming you have to realize
that This is only a test.
In the event of an actual emergency,
there will be no instructions.
You’ll have to figure it out
for yourself or you’ll have to turn to-
neighbors, a friend, your spouse,
co-workers, your boss, your children,
your family, maybe even God.
This is only a test.
If you live long enough,survive it all,
you’ll be able to experience moments
of love, joy, beauty, hope, solitude.
When you get them, take ‘em as they come.
Then you’ll know what they mean by-
This was only a test and This concludes the test
of the Emergency Broadcast System.
*Written for a workshop with poet Denise Duhamel ("Ka-Ching") throught Louder Arts in NYC. Ms.Duhamel worked with us for three hours and showed a passion for both poetry and teaching. I look forward to her next book of poetry. Thanks again to her for a great afternoon in Manhattan.
