In the dead of winter, I get up early to
find my house too cold, the heater runs,
but it’s blowing cold air out of the vents.
The thermostat tells me it’s 63 degrees.
I think about what to do as I know the
serviceman won’t come out right away.
I’m bad at fixing things, I never know
how to start, I don’t have the right tools.
I go to You Tube and look for free advice,
and I know what that’s worth- nothing.
I type in- my heater is blowing cold air.
Each guy talks too much with their hands,
they all have mustaches, slight accents,
they wear khaki pants and polo shirts.
They look like they’re somebody’s Dad.
They say the same things, be sure to check
the thermostat’s batteries, the breakers,
the filter, change the filter and make sure
none of the vents are blocked by furniture.
Look for flashing lights on the bottom, then
count the number of flashes, it’ll tell what’s
wrong with your unit, read the panel door.
Perhaps it’s the thermocoupler? It’s probably
dirty, they show me how to properly clean it.
Be careful as you could damage the sensors.
Be careful as you might get yourself electrocuted.
The last word of advice from them all is the same-
if you’re unsure, don’t attempt to repair it yourself,
consult the yellow pages, call a licensed professional.
And after an hour, that’s the advice I chose to follow.